2. Billy Joel--Glass Houses

 #2: Billy Joel--Glass Houses (1980)

Top Notch Tracks: "You May Be Right," [HJ200 #15,] "All For Leyna," [HJ200 #44,] "Sometimes a Fantasy," [HJ200 #107,] "Sleeping With the Television On," [HJ200 #120,] "Close To the Borderline," [HJ200 #186 (shoulda been higher,)] "It's Still Rock and Roll To Me," [HJ200-shoulda been,] "I Don't Want To Be Alone," [HJ200-shoulda been,] "Don't Ask Me Why"

Album Depth: "C'etait Toi (You Were the One,)" "Through the Long Night"

Weak Links: 

Stand-Out Lyrics: It just may be a lunatic you're looking for.

Billy Joel--Glass Houses

Billy Joel--Glass Houses (back cover)

Album cover: 14 out of 10. Come on, how perfect is this? He's got the tough guy outfit and the tough guy pose, (which match the tough guy music on the album.) He's armed and cocked and ready to throw the rock. There's the reflection of himself down between his legs. There's the fact that this is actually his own house he's threatening to throw a rock at. There's the broken glass back cover, which in its own right would be a fantastic album cover.

And then there's the fact that the album opens with a breaking glass sound effect. How many album covers are backed up by an actual sound effect on the album?

Comments: These kids today and their music. I would never have thought of "Sometimes a Fantasy" as a lullabye, would you? But, the other day my five year-old requested, "that song with the phone beeping at the start" for his goodnight music. So, that's what he got. Since then, he has alternated between asking I start with the "telephone song," or the "breaking glass song." (I had been listening to the album on my day off with him before he went to afternoon kindergarten, and those songs stuck with him. Between this and "Don't Bring Me Down," my son is going to be a classic rock expert.)

I was already a fan of Billy Joel when this album came out. I had previously purchased "The Stranger," and "52nd Street," and I really liked both albums. But, I wasn't yet a Billy Joel fanatic. That came with this album, "Songs In the Attic," and some gentle nudging from my good friend Nardo, who acted like "Glass Houses" was one of the best albums ever made. (He may be right.)

So, let's take a look at the songs that make up this phenomenal album.

You May Be Right

"Friday night I crashed your party. Saturday, I said, 'I'm sorry.' Sunday came and trashed me out again. I was only having fun, wasn't hurting anyone, and we all enjoyed the weekend for a change."

"You may be right; I may be crazy. Oh, but it just may be a lunatic you're looking for."

"Remember how I found you there, alone in your electric chair? I gave you lemonade told you dirty stories jokes until you smiled. You were lonely for a man. I said, 'Take me as I am, 'cause you might enjoy some madness for a while."

"Think of all the years you tried to find someone to satisfy you. I might be as crazy as you say. If I'm crazy then it's true that it's all because of you--and you wouldn't want me any other way."

This song has just about everything. It rocks with awesome guitars. It's got clever lyrics. It's attached to a specific amazing memory and funny story from my youth. (The youth conference band "told you dirty stories," "gave you lemonade" lyrics change.) And, of course, it opens with the breaking glass sound effect.

Sometimes a Fantasy

"I didn't want to do it, but I got too lonely. I had to call you up in the middle of the night. I know it's awful hard to try to make love long distance. Ha-ha-ha."

"Why does it always seem to hit me in the middle of the night? You told me there's a number I can always dial for assistance. Ha-ha-ha."

"It's just a fantasy. It's not the real thing. But, sometimes a fantasy is all you need."

Another great rocker of a song. It's got one of the best guitar solo outro fades you're ever going to hear. Also, it's one of the best songs with a phone-call sound effect in it, along with "Telephone Line" by ELO, "Don't Call Us, We'll Call You" by Sugarloaf, and "Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey" by Paul McCartney and Wings. (I'm just hoping that my five year-old remembers the phone dialing at the beginning of the song, but doesn't latch onto the panting into the phone part.)

Don't Ask Me Why

"All the servants in your new hotel throw their roses at your feet. Fool them all, but baby I can tell you're no stranger to the street."

"Don't ask for favors. Don't talk to strangers. Don't ask me why."

I don't know why, but I've never really given this song its fair shake. Maybe it's because it's my least favorite of the four songs that were released as hits from the album. And maybe it's because there were several other songs on the album that I liked better. But I can't help but think that if this song had been "just" an album cut, I would like it a lot more. After all, it's got some great hand claps and some mean castanets!

It's Still Rock and Roll To Me

"What's the matter with the clothes I'm wearing? Can't you tell that your tie's too wide."

"Hot funk, cool punk, even if it's old junk, it's still rock and roll to me."

"Don't waste your money on a new pair of speakers, you get more mileage from a cheap pair of sneakers."

"Don't you know about the new fashions, honey? All you need are looks and a whole lot of money."

There are specific lyrics from this song that have specific personal meaning to me. Such as, "Should I try to be a straight A student? If you are, then you think too much." I got good grades, but I was only a straight A student for one semester in my entire scholastic career. Never in high school. Never in college. Just one semester in 9th grade. And for my reward, I got to go out to a "fancy" dinner at the Deep Creek Inn Restaurant (I think that's what it was called) in Malad. Straight A's meant deep fried shrimp! But, alas, I could never do it again because, apparently, I didn't want to think too much.

Another: "Nowadays you can't be too sentimental. Your best bet's true baby blue Continental." I was always unsure of the punctuation on that last sentence. Is it, "Your best bet's true, baby,--blue Continental," or "Your best bet's true--baby blue continental?" I guess in the long run it doesn't really matter, because when I was a kid we had a big blue Lincoln Continental. And, it wasn't just blue, it was baby blue! The car was one of Dad's used car finds. I think it was a 1970 model. To us, it was incredibly fancy. It was the first car we owned that had automatic windows! (Except the driver-side back window wouldn't roll down.) Also, the speedometer was cool. It was a vertical white bar, so that everything from 0 to how fast you were going was a big white bar--until you went over 70 mph, when the bar would turn bright orange, as if to say, "DANGER!" Dad only drove the car for a few years before it broke down. The car then spent the next twenty years or so parked in the field north of our house, waiting in vain, like so many other vehicles around the farm, to get "fixed" and used again.

And, finally: "How about a pair of pink sidewinders and a bright orange pair of pants? You could really be a Beau Brummell baby if you just give it half a chance." When I left for my two-year mission to West Virginia, I had two suits and somewhere between two and four ties. I had never once been accused of being fashionable. And the only thing I knew about Beau Brummell was that I had heard Billy Joel sing that name about a gazillion times. I was not expecting to suddenly care about high fashion. (Or low fashion, for that matter.) I soon learned that, because we spent six days a week, fifteen hours a day, wearing suits and ties, one of the biggest hobbies of missionaries was searching for thrift store suits and ties, in order to change things up a bit, and possibly look a little more fashionable. And it so happened that my first companion not only knew all the hotspots that might have suits and ties, he was a handsome and gregarious fellow who flirted just enough with all of the thrift store ladies that they swooned over him. Some of them would even collect all of the new suits and ties to come into the store, waiting to give him first shot at them. Of course, this is what he wanted. One time I even heard one of the ladies say to him, "You don't need to share any with him," subtly nodding her head in my direction in disgust. Thankfully, he did share some with me (after getting the first look for himself.) And that's how I came into possession of my very first (and only) Beau Brummell tie. Billy Joel would have liked it, because it was "not too wide." It quickly became one of my favorite ties, in no small part because every time I put it on I thought of "It's Still Rock and Roll To Me."

Yes, I still have the tie!

It's a tie so skinny that neither my wife nor my mission president would want me to wear it! 

(I also don't think either would be too keen on me wearing orange pants.)

Oh, and one more thing about this song. Is there anything more infuriating than a stupid DJ cutting the song off before that final, grand, "Woooohooo!?"

All For Leyna 

"She gave me a night. That's all it was. What will it take until I STOP kidding myself, wasting my time."

"She didn't tell me there were ROCKS under the waves, right off the shore."

"I'm failing in school, losing my friends, making my family lose their minds. I don't wanna eat, I don't wanna sleep, I only want Leyna one more time."

"Now, I'm in my room, watching the tube, telling myself she still may DROP over to say she's changed her mind. So, I wait in the dark listening for her instead of my old man saying STOP kidding yourself, wasting your time."

Is their such a thing as hard rock piano? I think there is, and I think this is it. Damn, he is rocking that piano! If you can listen to this song without playing a little air piano, you're a stronger man than me.

You know, it's easy for me to blame songs like this, "She's Always a Woman," and the entire Angry Phil Collins Era for me being extra cautious with girls. I didn't want to get hurt. I didn't want to get obsessed. I didn't want to care too much. But, the reality is I was just a really shy guy who had no idea how the hell to behave around girls, and listening to these songs probably didn't make any difference whatsoever. The bottom line is, I'm the kind of guy who will always play things close to my (sweater) vest. It's just who I am.

I Don't Want To Be Alone

"She said she'd meet me in the bar at the Plaza Hotel, wear a jacket and a tie. What's the occasion? She just smiled and she wouldn't say why. So here I am standing, waiting in the lobby, sweating bullets in this stupid old suit. And when she sees me she busts out laughing, 'You're a sad sight, honey, but you look so cute, and I don't want to be alone anymore."

"So, ask me just one question when this magic night is through. Could it have been just anyone, or did it have to be you?"

"I can't be sure we'll get along, but I'm willing to try."

I had never really thought of this song in regards to my marriage, but after what I just wrote about "All For Leyna," some of these lyrics hit home a bit. I finally did get to the point where I didn't want to be alone, and when I did, could it have been just anyone, or did it have to be her? I think it had to be her. And, despite all my fears, I did put myself out there. I couldn't be sure we'd get along, but I was willing to try. 

And, while on the subject of my wife, I think I'll use this opportunity to point out that I've noticed that, as I finish up listing my Top 60 Albums, it seems my wife had little to no influence on this list. (As opposed to her definite influence on my Top 200 Songs list, where "our" song landed at #1.) The reasoning for this is pretty simple. As a couple, we never really had any albums...instead we had playlists. Little curated groups of songs that I picked out for her (and occasionally her for me) are how we musically spoke to each other. So, if playlists were to count as albums, there would definitely be a few of those in my Top 60, but no actual albums. (Most albums I associate with my wife at this point are either soundtracks to plays we've seen ("Les Miserables," "Hamilton,") or movies we've watched with our kids ("Frozen," "Moana," "Frozen," "Encanto," "Frozen."))

Sleeping With the Television On

"I really wish I was less of a thinking man, and more a fool who's not afraid of rejection."

"You say you're looking for someone solid here. You can't be bothered with those just for the night boys. Tonight, unless you take some kind of chances, dear, tomorrow morning you'll wake up with the white noise."

"But I won't say a word, 'cause it just might be somebody else's same old line."

Looking back, it seems silly that television stations used to sign off for the night. What did insomniacs do? As it is, I'm grateful for streaming services with advanced settings so you can make it so the television shuts down on its own without advancing through all the episodes of whatever show you're watching, because trying to figure out how many episodes you slept through isn't very fun.

This is, obviously, one of the best songs ever written.

C'Etait Toi (You Were the One)

"I'm looking for comfort that I can take from someone else. But, after all, I know there is no one that can save me, save me from myself. You were the only one."

Despite what Billy Joel himself has said, this is not the worst song he has ever written. But, it's certainly not the best, either.

Close to the Borderline

Just when you thought the album is winding down, with silly French love songs and such, this song comes along to blow your mind and forever change your concept of Billy Joel's music. This is the hardest rock song Billy Joel ever wrote, and probably the most punk rock, too. 

And the lyrics are fantastic!

"I get attacked by a kid with stereo sound. I don't want to hear it, but he won't turn it down."

"A buck three eighty won't by you much lately on the street these days."

"I got remote control and a color TV. I don't change channels, so they must change me."

"I need a doctor for my pressure pills. I need a lawyer for my medical bills. I need a banker to finance my home. But, I need security to back my loan."

"Ah, but you can't afford to squander what you're not prepared to pay."

Through the Long Night

This song kind of serves as the after-dinner mint of the album. After getting all riled up and rocked out by "Close to the Borderline," this song comes to calm you back down before ending the album. It's the responsible thing to do. Can you imagine all the damage that would have been caused if people walked out into the world with "Close to the Borderline" as the last thing to be implanted in their minds?

That said, I want you to consider how great of a songwriter Billy Joel is that he can place such a masterpiece of a line as, "All you past sins are since past" in such an otherwise forgettable and harmless song.

Damn, "Glass Houses" is quite possibly the greatest single album ever!

Up next: #1: The Final Frontier!